Baseball forever ruined… DH coming to the NL!!

 In MLBb

In case you missed it, and I’m sure you haven’t because if you’re reading this you’re probably a huge National League fan¹, but Major League Baseball has announced that they are seriously considering implementing the Designated Hitter format for the National League.

I will try to contain² my outrage as best I can, but ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!

What has the world come to?!?!? They want to have the DH in the National League just like the American League?!? Why?! Just because it’s the SAME sport and the SAME overall league? Man are they delusional! I mean, what other sport has consistent rules and strategies throughout all their divisions and teams?! Not many that’s for sure.

The National League is baseball in it’s purest form, with the most strategy and gamesmanship. The NL is to the AL what Chess is to Checkers! They’re practically different sports! I mean, who among us doesn’t LOVE seeing the pitcher come up to bat 3 to 4 times a game with it basically being an automatic out?! Or when a pitcher is pitching incredibly, but it’s a tight game and it’s the 8th inning, so you substitute some marginally better bench nobody that has maybe a 5% to 10% better chance of getting a hit; who doesn’t LOVE that?!

I mean, the National League is THE original baseball league, and if they wouldn’t have thrown the American League a bone back 1903; would the AL have survived?! I think not!

It was bad enough when they introduced “inter-league” play a few years back, and that’s been a hard enough pill to swallow, but why isn’t that enough?!?! This is one of those situations where people always claim, “first they’ll ban you from owning guns and next thing you know you’re all in concentration camps serving your liberal overlords”… well, IT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING with baseball! It’s being controlled by evil DH overlords!

Goodbye strategic baseball! It was nice knowing you. Why don’t they just install Robotic Umpires³ and have trained chimps as Managers? Sadly this all seems to be where we’re headed.

  1. LOL, who are we kidding?! Baseball’s lucky to have ANY fans left, let alone some that are National League specific!
  2. And by contain, we clearly mean UNLEASH
  3. Shit, wait a second, that’s actually a brilliant thought! Why the hell DON’T they have Robotic Umpires yet?!?! We could do away with strike zones that are all over the fucking map!
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